Monday, April 2, 2007

The Law of Attraction

Last summer I was recommended some books on "The Law of Attraction" that I began to read and put into practice. It was at a time when I was feeling particularly low and self-pitying, and my Naturopath suggested the titles to me. Since that time I witnessed the "law" manifest in my life in multiple ways, most significantly when I was asked out by my boyfriend -- two weeks after I began reading the books, had clarified exactly what I was looking for, and started to feel like it really could happen. It did -- and after four years of being very, very single and being told my standards were too high and thinking I might be alone forever (dramatic, I know, but sometimes perspective is a tricky thing), this was kind of a big deal.

Also since that time, I have struggled to maintain the positive thinking that the law of attraction requires (in order to use it in a way that actually benefits you). Although I have seen proof that it works, I also find it difficult to trust it (I find it difficult to trust most things that I believe in)... and it always feels scarier to put faith and trust into something that is a source of anxiety than just letting yourself be consumed by the fear. I don't know why that is -- possibly because if it doesn't end up working out the way you want it to after investing so much hope, you feel even worse, or more personally responsible for the "failure", instead of getting to blame the cosmos for all your problems and feel as though your fate is in someone or something else's hands.

What I have noticed about the law of attraction in my life is that rarely does what I think I want to happen happen how or when I think I want it to. Let me clarify that. Sometimes I will put a great deal of energy into a very specific thought of something that I want, and it will happen -- but in a very different way than I first imagined it. It can take me a while to realize that what has come into my life is a manifestation of what I have asked for. For example, I have been anxious about money recently now that I'm facing graduation. How am I going to survive financially as an actor fresh out of school? I keep dreaming about all these big parts and big cheques that I might get this year -- even making LOA statements as bold as "I can easily make at least $20,000 next year as an actor" (which is slightly ambitious considering the average income for actors is under $5000 a year). Then I open my e-mail one day and, out of the blue, was asked to direct a show for pay in the next month. No, the pay isn't even a tiny spec close to $20,000... but the job just seemed to fall out of the sky. Can money really appear that easily? Why not. Some kind of sign saying, "here's a tiny taste... now start to trust yourself!".

I have read some criticism on the law of attraction, and The Secret in particular -- claiming that the philosophy is in fact harmful to people, and to society as a whole. It puts so much responsibility on the individual that people begin to get offended ("You mean, the starving children in Africa are asking to starve to death?"). Honestly, that is the part of it that gets to me as well. I can understand how that would be true according to how the the law of attraction claims to work... but I don't like it and I can see why people would be upset by it. I don't want to believe that. I have also heard of people becoming so fanatical about LOA that now it is even being criticized for being like a cult, controlling how people think and feel. Well, to that I say that there are always going to be people in the world with obsessive personalities, and people who lack the ability to think critically and absorb new information in a balanced way. People are obsessed with dieting and making money and having sex and wanting to indulge in every aspect of their life ... and here is a new way to easily achieve it all. Of course you are going to have fanatics. I don't think that diminishes the value that the LOA offers when used in a positive way.

What is the Law of Attraction (or, The Secret, as it is also called), to those who have no clue what I'm talking about? The Law of Attraction claims that like attracts like. Therefore, every thought and feeling we have has a matching vibration to it, and as long as we continue to think and feel those things, we attract more of that vibration into our lives. That is why we see so many reoccurring patterns... attracting the same kind of partners (or none at all), problems with money, poor health. As long as we are paying attention to what we don't want, we attract what we don't want into our lives, and then continue to feel miserable, and continue to attract the misery to us. The vicious cycles we all hate. Shitty, eh? Well, according to LOA, not if you use the "law" in the way that works for you. We are always asking for things simply by giving our attention to it. If we are able to shift the attention from the negative to the positive, we can begin to attract the positive (what we want) into our lives. Essentially, its the power of positive thinking.

This made a lot of sense to me last summer when I was in self-pity mode. I had been single for four years, and all I could do was think about how lonely and alone I was. Therefore, I was simply attracting more loneliness to me. As soon as I shifted my thinking and wrote a long list of what I did want, became secure in it and began to believe it could happen, I saw an immediate change in my life.

The problem for me is when I don't seen an immediate result the way I did back then, I begin to feel discouraged and slip back into my negative thinking instead of having patience and trust that it will come to be at the right time. There are three parts to the Law of Attraction:

1. Identify Your Desire
2. Raise Your Vibration to your Desire
3. Allow It

For example, if your desire is to be rich, you need to match your vibration to your desire by thinking rich, feeling positive, and working on letting go of your money fears. Then, once money begins to pour into your life, you have to allow it... by picking up and appreciating the dime you see on the street, by graciously accepting a friend's offer to treat you to dinner, by being grateful that you bought your shoes on sale, etc. and realizing how all of these things are connected.

I struggle with maintaining my vibration with my desire... feeling positive, letting go of fear, and trusting that everything is meant to go well. And sometimes in recognizing and being grateful for the good that comes into my life and allowing it in.

What I like about LOA and leads me to believe in it (aside from really having nothing to lose), is that we can all see the evidence of it at work in our lives. You know the expression, "when it rains, it pours"? It makes a lot of sense when you think about it in LOA terms. As soon as you are open and ready to receive what you want, there is no limit to what can come to you.

There are a great deal of books on LOA. You can even download one for free at http://www.receivethebook.com. I like 'Ask and it is Given' by Esther and Jerry Hicks for the list of different practical tools to begin applying LOA to your life (and to, as they call it, 'move up the emotional scale' in order to increase your vibrational match with what you want). 'Law of Attraction' by Michael Losier is also very practical.

We are always told not to dwell in the negative, and yet we are programmed to think in negative terms (how many times have we heard "no", "can't", "don't" in our lives?). It makes sense to me that as soon as we begin to trust and believe that anything is possible, and only allow what we want and what makes us feel good into our lives, things will begin to change. Still, I think it is important not to become unhealthily obsessed or consumed with any one philosophy ... but to simply try it out and see what works for you, remembering that change doesn't always happen immediately, and of course, to be forgiving with yourself. I have to remind myself of that all the time.

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